Smashy McSmash-erson

Went to work this AM. I was greeted by a pool of glass on the ground around my service vehicle on the driver’s side door. They smashed the driver’s side window by throwing a near-volley ball-size rock through the window. I tried to imagine the action, but couldn’t fathom the sound it would make, or the distance required between the actor and the impact. The rock was huge, heavy I would find out later. I could see the dust impact from where the rock hit the driver’s seat. It had to have bounced. The thief had to have adrenaline flowing, or meth. I can’t tell. Glass completely covering the inside of the car, I was a little peeved. I had a pretty important corp call to answer at 9:15, a half an hour away. It was 8:35. I was to print my schedule and roll. Obviously, nothing happened as planned. I spoke with a manager, who immediately hopped up, cursing, running for the door to see the damage.

He and I walked out, in silence, walking the perimeter of the car, sighing in heavy breaths. I looked in the car and noticed nothing taken, assuming the car’s trunk had been cleared. Looking in the passenger side, I saw my phone, my order padfolio and schedules from previous days covered in glass, and an empty energy drink can in the cup holder, holding a massive shard of glass. All I could say was, “This sucks, dude. So bad. Suuuuucks.” Rubbing my face, all I could think was, “Oh God. My corp job. I’m fucked. Fuck….” I glanced up and saw something more tragic. On the dash was a plastic mount plate, barren. Less than 48 hours ago, it held a kick-ass Garmin that got me everywhere. My savior. I looked up and said, “Ken, they snatched my Jippus.” He said, “What…?” “My GPS is gone. My GPS….”

After relaying the info to the MOD, I started making calls: Guidance (to reschedule calls), The Police, Insurance, Glass Repair Co, and Wheels Inc for a rental.

I was a little peeved. Well, entirely peeved.

The crook was an idiot. I had ~$2,000 worth of product in the trunk, and a $400 phone sitting in plain view in the front seat, but all they took was a $500 Garmin c550 GPS, mounted on the dash. They weren’t even clean about the job. Instead of spending the time to get the charging cable, they cut it at the dash. Idiot. Dummy. Jerk. Fucker.

I spent the day making calls, waiting for CSI to recover NO PRINTS, and creating a “window” for my vehicle with plastic and tape. I am irritated about the fact that this wasn’t my fault at all, that it could have been prevented, that I am being threatened with not being given a new GPS, and the fact that I have jobs downtown tomorrow that I must get to in a rental Toyota with the aid of crappy maps.

The jerk took the most important tool I use for my job. He/She could have taken anything. (I would have opted for some serious N-related networking equipment). But, they took the only thing I absolutely dreaded losing. Damn them. Damn it all. Damn thieves. Dare I say, damn humanity.

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