Dear Lori… Part 3.

Dear Lori,

I watched Carnivale as I said I would and then I went out and bought us another bottle. A bigger bottle. A 750mL bottle. I think after I fill your bottle halfway, cuz you won’t remember how much you had, then we will be “even steven”. I must tell you of my adventure, Lori, in getting this bottle of Crown Royal. I went to the store and the only bottle they had was the big bottle. And it was enclosed in a box which was then enclosed in a plastic package. Ya know, one of those that is a major bitch to open. So, there I was feeling like I was gifting myself. And I did. I gave myself a very good gift. The gift of warm and buzzy.

Yours for the last of this trilogy,


Dear Lori… Part 2.


I am sitting here drinking the rest of the bottle of Crown. It’s so yummy and happy. I called your cell to let you know, but you never answered. I called your work and they said you’d be in at 9. I am so sorry, Lori… I am waiting for Carnivale to come on. As a matter of fact, I have seven minutes until the last episode so I am going to smoke a cigarette. Maybe later I will run out and get you and myself another bottle. I think you should come and get it soon…..

Yours Truly,


People are so kind

So I got this PM from one of my Avengers and he tells me has all the apps divided into sections and folders. It’s exactly what I need so I write him back asking if I can have them. He writes me back and says he is giving me FTP access to ALL of his stuff. So he has phone hacks, and TV series and music.. music.. music… Oh my word.. and he listens to all of the stuff I used to/still do listen to. I am currently DLing 3 songs from the Alice In Chains Unplugged album. People are so kind to me. I have never been happier. I will have to see what his data transfer costs are and I can throw him a few bucks for some albums. He has everything I could ever want. He even listens to KMFDM (who, by the way, have a kickass site)! I don’t know anyone else in the midwest that listens to KMFDM. Anyway, my little rant for mah boy KR3LL. One more cool kid in the midwest! Yeehaw….

Dear Lori…

I am sorry I drank some of your Crown Royal last night. I couldn’t help myself. I felt the need to do a little celebrating after getting the site back up so I poured myself a nice glass of Crown with a splash of Pepsi. I had one of those really nice “sipper buzzes”. Of course, I will buy you another bottle. I didn’t really want to drink it but I knew you would understand. And I am going to have more tonight. I am sorry cuz I know you will be looking forward to it so I will go out and get a bottle for you tonight and I hope I do not drink that too. Crown Royal is such a great holiday drink. It gives you that warm fuzy feeling. So, I guess instead of sorry, you deserve a thank you. Thanks Lori!

Odd little bird…

I was sitting here last night doing homework for my class and went to open a browser and Firebird refused to open. I went in to the program files and tried clicking the .exe file and it refused. Damnit.. So, I checked in my Starter program that manages what is running and it showed that Firebird was indeed running but it was not. So, I rebooted and still had the same problem. I uninstalled Firebird and then found an installer. Now, I thought when I uninstalled it I would lose everything but when I launched the browser everything was as I left it except that my extensions were gone. No big deal. I wanted to get rid of them anyway. But I am still puzzled by the entire event. How? Why? I read about the problem in MozillaZine‘s forums so I was not all that surprised.

I am thinking of moving to Mozilla 1.5. I understand it takes more diskspace than Firebird and is a tad slower because of its bulk. But, I hear it is a little more cionfigurable than Firebird and has a lot more features. Maybe I will grab it today and mess around with it. I hate finding something and really getting into it only to have it funk out on me. I had a weird problem with Sunbird, Mozilla’s “unofficial” calendar. So, maybe Mozilla is not as great as I think it is.

I missed you…

Ya know, looking at the site now, i can’t imagine it not being there to see. I can’t imagine my browser not opening to that everyday as it has been since August. I can’t believe I ever considered not putting it back and I really can’t believe I deleted it in the first place. I missed my site and I missed my members and I hope they come back and are as faithful as they ever were. I am going to post the mifs until I get the chain gang worked out. I don’t care if “a certain someone” likes it or not. I can’t do that to mah boys. What will they think!? is back…

After being notified by my host that the domain was ready, I FTPed for two straigh hours. I never knew how much info that site contained. I am starting to realize that PHP is extrememly cumbersome. Cumbersome in that it takes a lot of space and requires so many queries to the database. Good Lord. takes close to 80 Megs and running this site requires only about 7 Megs. also loads on the fly. When you go to watch the status bar in the lower left and see the site querying the DB. I am lucky it is on a quick server. And I feel sorry for those that use dial up to get there. I bet it takes forever just to download the top logo. Sucks…

Anyway, the site is back up and now I have to work on getting the chain-gang together to distribute the files. Maybe I will slap the other mifs up until I get it figured out. I’d hate to leave mah boys high and dry…

A gift?… For me!?

I was thinking about you and that gift you said you got me. I was wondering what it was and wondering things about you. How much RAM does your system have? Do you like flight simulation games? Do you mind if I send you something too so I don’t feel guilty? How interesting that you and I would be going through the same thing at the same time. Hmmm… I wanna see another of your movies. I particularly liked the one set to.. well, I call it… “music from the Omen”. I’d like to see it again if you have time to send it. I am interested to see what you think I am “in to”. I guess I will have to wait, and you’re right it IS going to be a long month for me.

They found me….

Hey Avengers….

It appears you guys have found me!! Well, rest assured I am currently working on getting back. I can’t even put up an explanation page which sucks. So, I am hoping to have the domain by today which would put the site back up by tonight or tomorrow. We shall see.

I know it sounds lame… but I really am sorry.

Turkey and Testosterone


Every year around the holiday season I have to go and subject myself to the ever popular family gathering where we all sit and eat Turkey. And as every year before I walked into a house with 12 or 13 close to grown men ranging in age from 20-30 watching a football game and drinking Bud Light. Cousins. I have so many cousins and, except for two, all are boys. And they all act like boys and sound like boys and eat like boys. After devouring the Turkey, these beings pumped full of testosterone (makeup pictured at left) go outside and toss a football back and forth. They’re so manly. I go outside as well, but just to smoke and bullshit.

My cousin Andrew just bought a Mustang Cobra and decided to move it to avoid it being “injured” by a thrown football. The car started with a rumble. It was beastly. I wanted to go, but another member of the testosterone tribe jumped in. He slams the gas, spinning his wheels and peels up the street as the car is jerking side to side. Oh what life must be like to be a boy with a fast car. So the football passing continues with throws, catches and talk of chopping the tree down that seems to “get in the way”. The family gathering begins to disperse with all of the testosteronites getting in their trucks, with their manly shouts and baseball caps framing their face. I love the company of boys. Boys make me laugh. Boys are not complicated. Boys are fun. I shoulda been a boy.

I am so stupid

When I get drunk I do some of the LAMEST things. Take last night for a prime example. I was out until 3 drinking, came inside and was having issues. I thought they were site issues…. but they weren’t. They were machine issues. So, in a drunken stupid stupor I deleted Trashed it. Scrapped it. Disappear. Gone. I shot my host an e-mail saying to trash the domain and all this shit. I went to bed at 5:00. I woke to the sound of LOUD chopping at 7:30 still drunk. I was feeling fucked up. I came in here and saw that the “issues” were still evident and decided to post a rant on about the situation. Well, my host got my e-mail and trashed the domain making the PRIMARY! WooHoo. Well, I fixed the “issues”… but.. I cannot find out how to re-route to my server.

I am so stupid. I overreact and start trashing stuff and pretty soon I regret it. But.. I have not a worry in my body right now and I know people are seeing the site stripped down to the parent directory and cgi bin. I bet it looks scary. I t looks scary to me considering what was there before. So, my questions are: Can I get the issues resolved with the server, DNS and re-routing? Can I get the site back to the original state since it is no longer the primary? Will I have to do HOURS of coding? Will it be a simple config thing? And, can I pull off my biggest challenge yet? Becoming legit, making it smooth and not having to worry about a thing ever again. I am unsure if I really want the site back. I am torn….

Note to self: Don’t drink and operate computers, especially FTP programs and e-mail clients!

Toddlers and Segways don’t mix.

A toddler was injured when she was hit by a Segway, the Register reports in a kinda humorous story.

Toddler Ruby Bleskacek was punished by a Segway rider in a hit-and-run accident on Tuesday. (No, we are not making this up.) The lass sustained cuts, bruises and a blow to the head, according a report from ABC. The child was apparently playing outside her home when the Segway roared by near maximum speed at 10 m.p.h and crashed into her….

The suspect fled – if you can call it that – the scene. San Francisco police are currently looking for the perp who they believe lives in the area. They have requested a list of all Segway owners in the city from Segway LLC.

Don’t hit the children with your “I don’t have to walk EVER again” instrument, bastard. Turn yourself in so you can be sued for millions, have your Segway taken away, and change the laws in San Francisco forever, barring the use of Segways on city sidewalks. DO IT!

And this is your brain…

I was in bed last night and decided to turn on the TV cuz I was bored and I was flipping through the HBO channels and came across a show called Autopsy. Evidently they do true autopsies on the show and I was really surprised and semi-disgusted by the stuff I saw. They show some of the most graphic shit I have ever seen. In between the autopsy views you watch some crime story that is autopsy related and they show some pretty disturbing photos in the stories, too. So, last night I am watching one of these “stories” and they show this shot of a head, hands and feet sealed in cement. It looked so cool. The face was still intact and you could see the curves of the nose and the eye inlets.

And then they would flash back to the autopsy and this monotone guy (the host) is getting ready to slice open the head. He does this incision on the back of the head from ear to ear and then pulls the skin up over the top and folds it over the face and practically wraps it under the chin. You could hear this nasty ripping noise and you could tell he was really tugging at it. I couldn’t take my eyes off it! He gringds through the skull cap, removes the brain and then holds it in front of the camera. Then het sets it down and proceeds to slice through it like a bagel. It was jelly-like and gross. I think I might watch it again. On the website is an interactive autopsy and an autopsy flash “game” where you collect evidence. It’s pretty cool and you should check it out.

Rude Food

vergina.jpgThey say what is on the label is that which sells. Well, over at Rude Food you may be a little surprised to see what is on the label. After perusing some of the “goodies” I started to wonder about these labelers and what they were thinking. These products’ names are enough to make school boys snicker and little girls blush. It’s so funny to look at the packaging and imagine buying them at the store. Some of my personal faves are Vergina beer (pictured at right), Jussipussi, Dry Sack , Faggots and Erektus. One of the least weird which they for some reason found funny, but we in the states won’t were Sweet Tarts. If anyone has a case of Vergina beer, let me know!

Are you Mozilla-ing yet!?

And so at last the beast fell and the unbelievers rejoiced. But all was not lost, for from the ash rose a great bird. The bird gazed down upon the unbelievers and cast fire and thunder upon them. For the beast had been reborn with its strength renewed, and the followers of Mammon cowered in horror.

from The Book of Mozilla, 7:15

Netscape’s easter egg for Mozilla. You can reach it by typing about:mozilla in your location bar (Mozilla and Netscape users).

See the other verses: 3:31, 7:15 and 12:10